Crisis of Infinite Zeros
by Comicsandanimemix
Summary: Evil characters from an alternante dimension!
1. Chapter 1

Send in the clones, mother fucker!

Issue 1: Louise's Council of Ironic Alternate Versions of the Series Cast

A free collector's card with the purchase of this issue!

* * *

"Stop it Ablity Man," said Night-Nail. She was raising an eyebrow at the one sitting to her right.

"Stop what," he asked, with his head tilted.

"Staring at my legs."

"I'm not staring at your legs."

"Yes you are, stop it."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not."

Ability Man's face was slammed against the desk in front of them. They were in the grand council rooom where all the meetings took place. It was built similar to the kind of college classrooms you usually see on TV. But much bigger.

"OW," he said, rubbing his face. "You're a bitch, you know that?"

"So's life sweet heart, get used to it," Night-Nail shot back.

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!" a pompous young female voice suddenly boomed. "BEHOLD! I, Louise Françoise Le Blanc de La Vallière have invented…. THIS THING!"

She tore a cloth off a device that looked suspiciously like a giant death ray underneath it to reveal a device that looked suspiciously like a giant death ray.

"What is it?" cried a particularly clueless super villain.

"I don't KNOW! YOU!" She cried pointing to one of her henchmen, whose name was 'Hench Man", "STAND OVER THERE!"

"Okay."

The henchman walked in front of the ray looking device. Louise powered it up, and fired it. BOOM! There was a smoking crater where Hench Man had previously been standing.

"BEHOLD! THIS IS WHAT IT IS!"

Ability Man had a raised eyebrow and his mouth was hanging open.

"A death ray? That's it? You called everyone in the Villains United for Various Acquisitions of Cash and World Domination… JUST so you could show us… another death ray?"

"APPARENTLY!"

There was a brief moment of silence, broken by a light clapping from the clueless villain from before.

"Why is she our leader again?" Ability Man asked.

"Because, if we don't she'll blow up the world?"

"Right, right."

"Um… Hello?"

All 139 people in the room looked up, looking for the voice.

"Boss?"

"HENCH! YOU'RE ALIVE! WHERE ARE YOU, DAMNIT!? IT IS VITALLY IMPORANT WE KNOW WHERE YOU ARE, FOR THE SAKE OF SCIENCE!"

"Why does she always talk like she's giving a speech?" asked Night-Nail.

"I haven't known for the last few years, what makes you think I'm gonna know now?"

"Uh… Well that radio you gave me in case I wind up in alternate universe seems to be working."

"OF COURSE!" Louise declared. "YOUR VOICE IS COMING OVER THE INTERCOMM! GASP!" She declared, "I'VE INVENTED AN INTERDIMENSIONAL TRANSPORT DEVICE! WITH THIS, WE CAN TRAVEL TO A WORLD WITH NO HEROES, AND CONQUER! I MUST HAVE USED MY MIND WIPE RAY IN CASE I WAS KIDNAPPED SO NO ONE WOULD NO HOW TO BUILD ONE!"

"You don't have a mind wipe ray," Ability Man pointed out.

"THEN I MUST HAVE BEEN PUTTING RANDOM PIECES OF TECHNOLOGY TOGETHER AGAIN! NOW EVERYONE PREPARE YOURSELVES! I'M GOING TO SET THE DEVICE TO DRAG HENCH BACK, AND THEN I SHALL TRACK DOWN THE PERFECT WORLD AND DRAG A LOCAL RESIDENT HERE!"

"How many times have we tried this plan again?"

"42," Night-Nail commented.

"How many times have we been thwarted by good guy versions of us?"

"42."

"… How close have we come?"

"Closer than our other plans."

"Will you sleep with me?"

"Absolutely not."

"Bitch."

"And proud of it."

* * *

Meanwhile, on... whatever the world this show takes place on is called... number 23, a more innocent look-a-like of Night-Nail, lay sleeping in her bed. Dreaming her favorite dream.

It was always such a simple dream. Just a picnic. That was all they were doing. The two laughed, as innocent as childeren. Everything bright and cheerful. And he would rest his head on her lap, and she would feed him. Then he would tell her how he loved her the minute he set eyes on her. Saito would sit up, and look at her, with happy, and wanting eyes. He started moving his face closer to hers. This was it! Siesta shut her eyes, pursed her lips. They inched closer, and closer and… Siesta rolled out of her bed, landing with a painful bump on her head.

"Ow…!" she whined. She stood up, dazed, and struggled to the window so she could check the sun for the time. She'd slept in. With a yelp, realizing how late in the morning it was, she quickly changed into her maid uniform and ran toward the academy. Once she got there, she realized she'd forgotten to have any breakfast. At that moment, her stomach growled loudly.

"Today isn't going to be good is it?" she grimaced sadly.

* * *

Saito's day, meanwhile, started out encouragingly well. He hadn't seen Kirche around, and so she hadn't tried to seduce him. And that meant, he got stay on Louise's good terms. And that meant, he didn't have to settle for stale bread for breakfast!

"You don't have to eat like a dog, even if you are one," Louise commented, as he practially inhaled the piece of pie she had given him. Yesterday had been exceptionally unlucky, and he'd been starved the entire day. "You know your a very lucky person. I really should keep letting you starve the way you... you..."

Louise flushed angrily. Yesterday Siesta and him had gotten uncomfterably close. Saito made a silent promise that he would NOT ruin today. Even if it meant avoiding the pretty... smooth skinned... well endowed... cute... busty... kind... large breasted young maid. He quickly brought himself down to earth with the thoughts of starvation from yesterday. Today, no matter what, he'd make sure not get near any girls. He'd make it up to them later, but today was too good to ruin.

What he didn't know was that he WOULD meet Siesta, it WOULD be in front of LOUISE, and yet he was still going to be okay. Though what was about to happen, was still going to ruin his day.

* * *

She just wanted to give him a hello. That was all. But he'd been avoiding her all day. Did he hate her for what happened yesterday? OH NO! What if because of her actions, instead of bringing Saito closer, she'd actually pushed him away because of Madame Louise's punishment!

"Could today possibly get any worse!" she asked herself mentally, and reminding herself to kick herself for making such a stupid mistake. Then she spotted exactly who she'd been looking for! And he hadn't noticed her yet!

"Oh Saito!" she called. Saito cringed slighly.

(Okay, okay, I can still make this work... I just have to be polite and not get distracted by her... assets... and I can get out of this witout angering Louise, and not having Siesta feel rejected)

"Hi!" he said, he said in an overly cheerful voice. Louise was practically breathing down his neck. "Siesta... this... I'm not... This is a bad time..." he stuttered.

Siesta started to feel a bit faint all of a sudden. Odd. She really REALLY liked Saito... but she wasn't some dotty girl who swooned at the very sight of her loved one.

"I... I just... wanted to uh... a-apoligize about getting so... so..."

"Hey, are you alright," Saito asked, feeling her forhead. Louise noticed it too, and approached the two.

"He's right, you don't look very good. You should see a water mage."

"I-I really don't feel... I... oh..."

She fainted all of a sudden landing directly on top of Saito.

"HEY!" Louise yelled angrily. "Get off my... What in the!"

"SIESTA!" Saito shouted. She had gone intangible, and was fading away. "W-wait! Siesta! What's wrong with you!?"

* * *

Siesta came to, lying on the floor, feeling rather queasy. She looked up.

"Saito?"

It looked like Saito, but in strange red clothes. There was some chest armor that was dark red, with a rubber like orange body suit, and dark red gloves, boots, and shorts over the long pants.

"Nope. Names Ability Man sweet legs. Speeking of sweet legs, how far can your…"

"Shut up. Just SHUT UP! NO one wants to know what you're about to say."

Suddenly, Siesta was looking in a mirror. But instead of a maid outfit, she was wearing a black body suit.

"BEHOLD! MY EVIL GENIUS HAS GIVEN US SOMEONE FOR NIGHT-NAIL TO REPLACE, AND SPY ON THIS NEW WORLD! LONG LIVE V.U.V.A.C.W.D.!" declared Louise with a tiny telescope with a red lens over her eye, and various bits of metal clothes.

"Okay! You kidnapped a teenager! We GET IT! SHUT UP!" Ability Man said annoyed.

* * *

A crisis is coming! Evil alternate versions of the main characters from an alternate dimension! Also, if you want to suggest powers for the evil alternate versions that HAVEN'T appeared yet, feel free.


	2. Chapter 2

Issue 2: The Beginning

Collector's Item!!!

Featuring the Secret Origin of: _**IQ ZERO!!!**_

"Well if it isn't Louise the Zero."

"YES! IT IS I! LOUISE!"

"CUT!!!!"

Ability Man was banging his head against the control panel of the monitor room. He stopped for a moment and took a deep breath and calmed down. "Okay… okay… let's just try the classroom scene again."

He pushed a few buttons, and the hologram around Zero changed from the castle's hallways too a classroom. Zero stood still in front of the class.

"What was I was supposed to do?"

"Blow them up, remember?"

"Ah…" Zero said. She pulled out her infinite space cube, and removed her plasma rocket launcher.

"NOT LIKE THAT!!!"

BOOM!!!!!!

The classroom was burning, and there were bodies all over the place.

"SIMULATION TERMINATED. SIMULATION TERMINATED. SIMULATION-"

Abilitiy Man resumed banging his head against the controls.

"This is never going to work," Night-Nail commented apathetically.

"Hey, you're preachin' to the choir lady!" he responded angrily. They had found out that someone had seen Night-Nail's counterpart get sucked away. And so, they had to choose someone else, as well as send a camera into the other world to find who to replace. They had been observing the other world and found several possible people to replace. But of course, they were all aware of the disappearing now, so they'd get suspicious if she suddenly reappeared, and ESPECIALLY if she had any of Night-Nail's personality. So they had to pick someone else. That person was definitely NOT going to be Zero.

"Okay, let's see if Def-Gun can replace this… Agnes person."

She couldn't.

"FOR GOD'S SAKE! SHE'S A SOLIDER, IT DOESN'T MAKE HER IN LOVE WITH HER GUNS!"

"Ability Man? I really think it's best if we just use you. You're an actor, you can steal memories and powers, if anyone can do it's you!"

"What? And be little Miss Pinkies private bitch?" Ability Man asked sarcastically. "I wish we could find The NAZI's counterpart," he sulked, "Then there'd be NO question as to who should go."

Night-Nail sighed.

"Look, you want to show up Mister Cyclone don't you?"

"Show him up? That doesn't begin to describe it."

"Well… SUCK IT UP AND TELL ZERO YOU'LL DO IT!" she yelled at him, the nail of her index finger shot right for him, and began prodding him in the stomach.

"OW! ALRIGHT I'LL DO IT!"

* * *

They watched the monitor that their camera was transmitting too. It used similar technology to Zero's interdimensional radio. Waiting for the moment that he would fall asleep.

* * *

"What do you think it is?" Saito asked, as he climbed into bed with Louise.

"I have no idea. Even with magic people don't just disappear," Louise answered. She looked scared.

"It'll be okay," he comforted. He looked into her eyes, "Louise, I promise whatever is going on, I'm not going to let anything happen to you."

Louise blushed as Saito looked down at her, with promising eyes. He began to draw his face closer to hers. She panicked, and shoved him away.

"Th-that's to be expected," she said. "You are my familiar."

Saito looked disappointed, and put his head down to rest.

* * *

He felt odd when he woke up. Like he'd just gone through a washing machine. He struggled to get his eyes open, and when he did...

"I don't see HOW this guy can claim to be my duplicate and not even have my INCREDIBLE charm."

"Who are you!?" Saito yelled.

"Ever read a comic book? I'm kinda like… your evil twin. You know… You're from a dimension where you're the good guy, I'm from a dimension where you're the bad guy."

Saito looked around. Agnes, Louise, Siesta, all of them were here but wearing completely different clothes from what they usually wore. Agnes looked particularly ridiculous with armor that was purple here, gold there, and a single gigantic shoulder pad on the left side, and huge guns all over the place.

The Other Saito turned away from… himself… and talked to "Louise".

"So, just to confirm, this watch will let me keep the powers and memories I get from anyone with identical DNA for as long as it's intact, as opposed to the usual twenty four hours?"

"YES!" "Louise" declared with pride. "It is the product of my benevolent genius! With it, you will be able…"

"Okay, I get it Zero," Other Saito said. Then he turned back to Saito himself. "By the way, the name's Ability Man."

He touched Saito's forehead, and all at once, Saito felt all his energy disappearing. He tried to make a sound, but couldn't. He then glanced at his left hand, and the runes began to disappear. His eyes rolled back into his head, and he blacked out.

"Light weight," he heard Ability Man say. Then it all went dark.

* * *

Who is the genius who can create an inter-dimensional travel, without any intention of doing so? Where does this incredible genius come from? And in this universe, in what way does she hold the title zero? All shall be revealed in:

Secret Origins:

IQ ZERO

Louise Françoise Le Blanc de La Vallière came from a rich French family. She was given the best possible tutors and education money can buy. But even the rich can't buy out fate.

"I'm sorry Miss Vallière. But the good news is that through therapy, we may just be able to solve this problem."

She had a mental disorder that was specific to the dimension she was from. Essentially, her brain was able to remember every fact it heard. But it also prevented her from calling any information from her subconscious. After 6 years of therapy, her parents were desperate for ANY kind of results. And so, against the wishes of all her therapists, they took her to a hypnotist, who was famous for fixing even the most extreme mental disorders. They believed that the therapists simply thought him a quack. They didn't. But as the results showed, there was a reason no one else could go to him for this specific mental disorder. As it was treatable, and she was still learning something when she was in class, her therapists advised her parents to continue her education. But when she awoke from her hypnotic state, all the information that she gathered over the years came flooding in. All at once. For Louise, it was like her brain was a balloon that was filled BEYOND the capacity, and was ready to explode. Unable to cope with it, she created several duplicate personalities. One for Sciences, History, English literature, and so on and so forth. Her parents were forced to send her to a mental hospital. Unable to cope with the guilt, they bought the most expensive wine they could, and slipped a cyanide pill into each of their glasses, and drank together romantically, for the very last time. They left their daughter everything, as well as a heartfelt apology for destroying her life.

But Louise, using her scientific personality, was able to create a makeshift blow torch, and various other pieces of equipment to escape. Using the IMMENSE wealth she was given, she was able to design a device which she implanted in her brain, and isolate the other personalities. She called this device, Unit 0, in honor of her ability to create it on her first try. The only problem was that since her brain was so scrambled, much of her common sense was lost as well. And so, with only her scientific personality, and her brain completely topsy turvy, she began a complete conquest of the world, claiming herself to be the greatest genius for her ability to create anything on her very first try. She became…

_**IQ ZERO!**_

* * *

Please review. I'd like to IMPROVE you see, and the only way to improve is to hear criticism from people.


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